Rites of Patches

Editor’s Note: Every so often, we’ll try to keep things serious on this site. Not often, mind you. Mainly only when rock or metal albums are released. Penis. And as you can see, sometimes not even then. You will know when these times are because Serious Cat will help you out. After the jump, you can find my album rating system.

In a recent post, I was fairly critical of the music released in 2008. Thankfully, 2009 is poised to kick last year’s ass. The first such album is Goodbye to the Machine by the band HURT. HURT’s follow up to the critically acclaimed Vol. II, Goodbye to the Machine finds HURT once again continuing to expand and improve every facet of their music. Goodbye to the Machine is an intensely varied affair that showcases HURT’s maturity and intelligence as musicians. A few key things really stuck out to me.

HURT oozes emotion. Not the shitty, fake emotion that crap bands try to shill these days. *COUGH* Seether, Staind *COUGH*. You can feel singer & lyricist J. Loren Wince’s anguish in “Wars” as he grapples with the consequences of his former job with a defense contractor. He sings of depression and choices in “Well” and the honor of doing one’s best in “Fighting Tao.” You FEEL these songs. The reason HURT’s music connects with the listener is Wince. His lyrical style and pacing is top notch and I’m not exaggerating when I say he is the best songwriter in rock today. The songs are dark but hopeful; the lyrics are catchy and intelligent.

I’ll spare you a track-by-track analysis, but I do have a few favorites. “Wars” is the lead single and benefits from a great riff and a meaningful and though-provoking message of collective guilt and introspection. “1331” alternates between an almost annoyingly cheerful pop song and agonizingly emotive rocker. “Well” is a well-written throwback delivered in the style of “Loded” from Vol. II. “Dreams Away” is a crunchy rocker unlike anything HURT has ever recorded, and “Fighting Tao” slowly builds into an epic rocker infused with bagpipe-wannabe violins. The only weak link on the album is “World Ain’t Right,” an otherwise solid ballad ruined by the fat dipshit from Seether.

Goodbye to the Machine requires about five listens to wrap one’s head around, and when you do, it will get better every time you listen to it – which will be often. Goodbye to the Machine is more evidence that HURT deserves the mainstream success that will likely elude them.

Score:

SCORING SYSTEM

Mr. Hankey

Scoring is simple. Bad albums are represented by Mr. Hankey. If you need help understanding why a cartoon turd is used for bad albums, you are too stupid for this website. Yes, too stupid for a website composed of LOLCATZ and dick jokes. Bad albums are rated from one turd (bad) to three turds (sonic abortion).

Car-Driving Cat

Good albums are represented by an indescribably awesome picture of a cat driving a car. Good albums are rated from one car-driving cat (good) to three car-driving cats (Excellent).

Indifferent Cat

Albums in between are represented by Indifferent Cat. Indifferent Cat doesn’t care about the album because it wasn’t bad, but there was nothing about it to set it apart from previous albums or other albums of the genre.