Posted by: Rites of Patches | February 3, 2009

An Imagined Meeting at NBC Headquarters Regarding the New Fall Schedule

Jeff Zucker: Alright, folks. What do we have for the new season? We need “fresh!” We need to get back to the top!
1: Well, I thought we could do this sci-fi epic drama, right?
: I like it, go on…
1: So, it’s set in space. And there are these humans, but they’re attacked by robots called Cyloffs. So they have to-
: Wait a second? Cyloffs?
1: Yeah, and the humans are, get this, looking for Earth!
: That actually sounds a lot like Battlestar Galactica.
1: Ummmm….Battlewhat?
2: Okay, so I have this show. It’s about terrorists, but here’s the kicker. IT’S IN REAL TIME!
3: So they’re on this island, right?
Zucker: You know what? Fuck it. Give Howie Mandel and Jay Leno more shows.

Woman: What a nice dinner. I could use a little more wine, though.
Man: What happened to our waiter?

Waiter: Hello. I’m your waiter, Bobby Incognito. What can I get for you?

Woman: Can I get more wine, please?

Waiter: Nope, sorry. We’re all out.

Man: Excuse me?


Woman & Man Together: Awww, Shit!


  1. Wow. I laughed out loud.

  2. Love It Hard!!!

  3. Recently I have seen some of your television shows like Law & Order and the “hit tv show” Numbers and I am disturbed by how the Christian Lifestyle is being portrayed, being a born again, bible believing Christian I feel VERY strongly about standing for what i believe in and how we are portrayed etc etc. I don’t think it’s fair to be one sided about how you choose to make an image of a life group, especially when your information is NOT based on a true or actual testimony of one’s religion and real experiences. There are many different varieties of Christians. there are Catholic Christians, there are sunday morning Christians, Holiday Christians and there are Christians who Love God with all their hearts and want His life and works to be on display because He has done great things in our lives. Last nights episode on numbers displayed a harsh Christian who was very firm and extremely religious that kinda of character would turn anyone even myself from that lifestyle. What you are trying to do is set the mode so people can’t learn the truth, God is NOT boring, He is very much alive and well!!!! and FUN!! He is blessing His children every second. I am here to tell you that a true intimate walk with God is nothing like that, once you feel His amazing love and power in your life you gush love, WE don’t bark orders, WE don’t condem one another because there is evidence of sin in someone’s life or for different views. We love the sinner, but hate the sin and stand firmly against it as Jesus Christ commanded us to do. We don’t hate gay people, in fact our hearts couldn’t be touched more for them. God loves them too, we don’t discriminate against anyone but like any human being we tend to struggle at times loving others as we should, the grace of God though causes us to try again and knowing that He is proud of us for doing our best. The difference is simple and it is this; one is a religion, that being because they have to. The other is a relationship and that is because we want to be with God, we want to live and learn of Him because He is the reason for our existance, He is the redeemer of our lives, He has saved us from an excrutiating painful death in an eternal hell, He dies for us when we were still living in our sins. I believe that God’s children are getting downloads of creative t.v. shows, movies, music, theatre etc etc and just so you know shows that portray a bad image of Christians are not going to be around long.. It is time for the truth and for the light to shine as it should. It is time that people start learning of the goodness, the fun and excitement that only God can give. Everyday is a challenge and when we fail our Papa smiles and says come my child try again. he’s not a mean God with a booming angry voice, not at all.. and if you think so then you can’t possibly know the real living God. So as a follower of Christ I appreciate if you are going to portray my beautiful awesome, glorious King of Kings that you do it with understanding in mind that it’s not a religion. But it is A delight, and I will serve Him all the days and I pray that His spirit would move on you, and you would be convinced of the Love of the Father towards you.

    ~God Bless~ Lauryn aka Jesus follower, Lover of Christ and moved by the Holy Spirit.

  4. this comment was left on this site because I could not find an email for the president of NBC, I hope he gets this!!!!!

    God Bless <

  5. Wow, where to start. First of all, the president of NBC will not read this blog. There are thousands of blogs out there and the idea that NBC would look at this one is ridiculous. Also, in your long, long, long look at what Christians believe, you contradicted yourself. You said there are many different kinds of Christians (seems to me you mentioned Catholics, but failed to mention any branch of Protestantism), yet you kept saying “we” as if all Christians believe what you believe. I am a Christian and I don’t practice, nor believe, in most of what you said. Was it really necessary to post all of that on a sarcastic, comedic blog? Go to and search around on their site, you are bound to find someone to contact.

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