Rites of Patches

Every generation has their literary geniuses. For some it was Chaucer. Others had Shakespeare. Others still had Hemingway, or Melville, or Twain. All of these people were able to make you think or feel in a way you never before imagined you would or could. They are quite simply, the finest examples of the written word in human history. For our generation, it is Brian Johnson and Angus Young. Simply put, AC/DC can chill you to the bone with their deep and probing lyrics.

The problem with AC/DC is that they are difficult to understand. Their words are so obtuse and, frankly, brilliant that only a genius could understand and dumb down those lyrics to the level of a common person. Which is why you should be grateful that I am here. Without any further ado, I present to you the genius and lyrical perfection of “Let Me Put My Love Into You,” for the first time explained so all can understand it….

Let Me Put My Love Into You

Flying on a free flight
(Sitting on a plane with a ticket for which I did not need pay)
Driving all night
(Driving throughout the evening)
With my machinery
(With my penis)
‘Cause I, I got the power
(I, I have the capability)
Any hour
(At any time specified)
To show the man in me
(To take out my penis and use it)

I got reputations
(People, often strangers, speak of my sexual prowess)
Blown to pieces
(Oblitterating vaginas)
With my artillery
(With my penis)
I’ll be guided in
(You will assist my penis in finding your vagina)
We’ll be ridin’
(We will be consummating our lust)
given what you got to me
(Allowing me to have sex with you)

Pre-Chorus
Don’t you struggle
(Don’t resist)
Don’t you fight
(This probably sounds like it is bordering on rape right now)
Don’t you worry
(Fear not)
‘Cause it’s your turn tonight
(Because you will have the honor of being the female I have sex with this evening)

CHORUS
Let me put my love into you, babe
(Allow me to put my penis into your vagina)
Let me put my love on the line
(Allow me to prove my love to you by putting my penis into your vagina)
Let me put my love into you, babe
(Allow me to put my penis into your vagina)
Let me cut your cake with my knife
(Allow me to put my penis into your vagina, but with a crude analogy this time)

Oh, Like a fever
(Much like a debilitating illness)
Burning faster
(Causing my body temperature to rise above normal human specifications)
You spark the fire in me
(You give me an erection)
Crazy feelings
(An erection)
Got me reeling
(I am apparently surprised by the erection thought of you have given me)
They got me raising steam
(And by steam, I mean my penis)

Pre-chours
Chorus