Posted by: Rites of Patches | March 28, 2009

Metal Reviews by Patches: Speed Round I

A quick review of four recent albums.

Buckcherry: Black Butterfly

Buckcherry sucks. Although they are not the worst band in rock (they should thank Hinder for bracing them up), they are perhaps the least intelligent. They constantly try to be hip, retro sleaze rock, but are too untalented to be serious about it and too stupid to be ironic.

Queensryche: American Soldier

Guys, you are responsible for the greatest metal concept album of all time. Quit. Just stop. Go on the casino circuit and stop trying to top Operation: Mindcrime. You won’t. Mindcrime II failed. So did American Soldier. You sound like a tired version of a shadow of your former selves.

Papa Roach: Metamorphosis

Papa Roach has always been my favorite of the bands I acknowledge have little talent or originality. I’m not able to figure out why I like them better than Nickelback, Puddle of Mudd, or Hinder, but I do. Metamorphosis is more of the same. It’s not awful, but there is nothing on this album, outside of the excellent “Lifeline,” that you can’t find on Getting Away with Murder or The Paramour Sessions.

Hoobastank: For(n)ever

Seriously, these guys still exist? The Reason was a great album, even if the title song lags just behind James Blunt one my “Things I Fucking Hate” List. Their next album was a carbon-copy of The Reason, and sadly, this one is too. Evolve or die. Hoobastank has decided to die.

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