So, as many of you know, I graduated on Sunday. I am no longer a college student and am now an Alum and a responsible member of adult society. Today, the day after graduation, I became a professional. I had my first substitute teaching gig at a high school teaching Algebra, of all things. Thankfully, teaching math as a sub means handing out a worksheet and forgetting how to solve quadratic equations, both of which I managed to succeed in accomplishing.
Professionals need to be ready for all things. In times of danger, we need to be ready to respond quickly and appropriately. In times like these, the true professional will rise to the occasion. In the true spirit of my forefathers before me, I now know, in a situation like this, I can be counted on…To fail miserably.
It is the last period of the day, and also immediately after lunch. I settle my students down, take attendance, and give instructions for their assignment. All is going well in my first ever actual day teaching and then some freshman girl starts ralphing all over the place.
So, I have this girl upchucking all over my room, students jumping up with panic, and I know I must do something……So, I start laughing. I know there is something I should be doing to help things, but barf is funny. After a couple good belly laughs, I finally get a hold of myself and take care of the situation.
No lesson in this story, folks. Some kid heaved lunch on my first day of class. That’s f’n cool.
Rites of Patches 
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