Boy, am I glad Easter’s here. Okay, so maybe technically that last sentence was a question, so the answer is “yes.” Yes, I am happy that Easter is here. “Why?” you might ask. Well, it’s quite simple.
First, I get to eat jelly beans, which borders on obsession with me. I am an absolute jelly bean whore, although I’m not sure whether I’m the whore or the John in this situation. Regardless, this guy loves the jelly beans.
Lastly, Easter means that Lent is over, which means I can finally return to the things I gave up. I’ve been waiting 40 long days and nights to give stuff up again. Do you realize how difficult it is to give up giving things up for Lent? It’s tough, but I’ve managed to stick it out for Lent the last 6 or 7 years now. I figure it’s the least I could do for Jesus. I mean, he did die on the cross for me and stuff.
Remember, if you change your life, it means that the terrorists have one. I’m really not sure what President Bush meant by that. The terrorists have one of what? I’m confused. I think it’s time for a nap.
Rites of Patches 
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