Posted by: Rites of Patches | August 25, 2009

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

With school a mere couple of weeks away, I feel obligated to provide you, my loyal reader(s?), with my reasons (Editor’s Note: Actually excuses) for not posting more regularly this summer. This summer has been insanely busy with a great many undertakings successfully completed. See for yourself!

Helped Children in Third World Nations

Helped Children in Third World Nations

Became the Starting Quarterback on a Professional Football Team

Became the Starting Quarterback on a Professional Football Team

Negotiated Peace in the Middle East

Negotiated Peace in the Middle East

Created the Cash for Clunkers Program

Created the Cash for Clunkers Program

Unsuccessfully Attempted to Resuscitate Republican Party

Unsuccessfully Attempted to Resuscitate the Republican Party

asd

Indeed, you may be thinking, “Gee, Patches, the people in the first two pictures are Angelina Jolie and Tony Romo, both of whom are not you. The third picture is clearly an old photograph with The Rock poorly photoshopped into it for some reason. In fact, both leaders in the picture are now dead. The other pictures are also obviously not you. Since it is not possible to switch between multiple sexes and ethnicities over the course of a summer, you obviously were not involved in any of these history-making endeavors.”

My reply?

Can’t I, my friend? Can’t I?

asd

I just hope that my next leap will be the leap home

I just hope that my next leap will be the leap home

asd

But seriously, though, I played video games in my boxers.

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